Looking back, it has been an eventful week. My mom suffered another heart attack, underwent the knife, discharged but back again due to food allergy. I feel for my dad as they have never been apart for all these 35 years except for the occasional travelling my mom does with some aunts and cousins etc but they'll never be apart for more than 3 days/nites and of cos the hospital stays. Seeing the agony on his face as my mum went thru all these was hard to swallow. It is always painful, in cases like my parents if either party has to leave the world earlier especially when they are inseparatable.
Spoke to Andrea about my mom's condition and explained to him why I am so strict about his intake of sugar and salt. I told him before that no matter what I would rather leave the world before him so that I won't be lonely. Sounds selfish but that's what everybody fear. But because of this fear, I am happy that he has a large circle of closed friends whom I know will always be there for him.
Even when in Japan, I often joked bout him going out to enjoy himself and leaving poor me alone in Singapore, sometimes till the wee hours and coming back the next day at 7am, I am secretly happy for we both have our own life to lead which I do that to him once in a blue moon too. Of cos trust plays a huge part in this as well.
I do not want my partner to feel alone in the world after I am gone for this is the worst anyone can face. Neither do I. Having friends and your own social circle is very important as it makes you less dependant on your partner emotionally. It may come across as being strange to most but the person who's gone would rather have their partner move on and continue their daily routine than digress into a world of anguish just cos their partner's gone, so is their life.
Sincerely, I am very thankful for everybody around both Andrea and I for they love we know we will contine to get for a long time to come. Before you get annoyed and accuse your partner for having their time with their own friends, think again.